Today, the question “if my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive him?” (Mt 18:21) might sound like this: —These people I love so much… I also see their quirks and annoying habits. They frustrate me constantly, they ignore me, they act selfishly. And it’s not just once—it’s day after day. Lord, how long must I put up with them?

Jesus responds with a lesson in patience. In truth, both debtors in the parable say the same thing: “Be patient with me” (Mt 18:26,29). Yet while the merciless servant’s impulsive cruelty—choking a fellow servant over a small debt—leads to his moral and economic ruin, the king’s patience not only spares the debtor, his family, and his possessions, but also elevates the king’s character and wins him the trust of his court. The king’s reaction, as told by Jesus, echoes the words of the psalmist: “But with you is forgiveness and so you are revered” (Ps 130:4).

Of course, we must stand against injustice—and if necessary, do so with strength (to passively tolerate evil may reveal apathy or cowardice). But righteous anger is only healthy when it is free of selfishness, rage, or foolishness, and instead comes from a sincere desire to defend the truth. True Christian patience is what allows us to endure, with mercy, the contradictions, weaknesses, irritations, and untimely demands of people, situations, or things. To be patient is to master oneself. Those who are easily offended or quick tempered cannot be patient, because they lack reflection and self-control.

Patience is a Christian virtue because it is part of the very message of the Kingdom of Heaven. It is shaped by the experience that we all have faults. As St. Paul exhorts us to “bear with one another” (cf. Col 3:12–13), St. Peter reminds us that “the Lord’s patience is our opportunity for salvation” (cf. 2 Pet 3:15).

And truly, how many times has the good Lord forgiven us in the confessional? Seven times? Seventy-seven times? Perhaps even more!